K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
