Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
