would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
