Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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