Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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