420 ftw
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
