He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
