i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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