mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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