he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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