honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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