That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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