It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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