So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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