It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
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You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
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Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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