Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
