Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
