'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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