At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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