There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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