I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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