put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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