how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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