Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
