1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
