Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's shark week go big or go home
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
