I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
