you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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