i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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