Buhtt sex?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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