Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
