I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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