I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
