That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My day in three words: secret purse cake
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
