Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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