And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
