I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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