i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
