I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
