Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
