how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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