I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
