I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
