it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize