we have pet lesbian snakes
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
