We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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