2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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