I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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