I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
