I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
