I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
