I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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