Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
