It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
