They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
