Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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