3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
