Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
