p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am midnight drunk by noon
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
