FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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