Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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