I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
