He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
